let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
