he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
