normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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