can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She announced her abortion via fbk
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
