He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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