my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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