the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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