FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
