you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize