The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
