tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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