Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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