i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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