somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
