So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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