hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
