return my video game
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
