can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
