I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So squirting runs in the family.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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