Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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