Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
