I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Rumble strips road head = magical
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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