we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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