it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
