I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
