Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
