i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize