we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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