I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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