When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
