Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
