I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize