In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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