pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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