I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
