can u get pink eye on your cock?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
