Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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