Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
