Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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