Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
