My nipple is on Facebook.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I AM VODKA MAN
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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