Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
