I wannas sexs uuuuu
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
