I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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