But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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