As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
