In the future we'll all be gay
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
