I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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