Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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