I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize