If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
