I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
