I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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