There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
