ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
