Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
