escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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