Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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