I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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