I'm pants shitting drunk right now
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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