I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize