All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
