she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
