we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
