im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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