STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
