They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
